3.14km from La Bella ItaliaI reserved the Hotel Brussels on-line in a hurry when various nearby alternatives were fully booked and I needed to head to the Eurostar for an overnight stay in Brussels. Only after booking did I see some of the dire reviews on TripAdvisor, but I thought, "Well really, it's 2019, how bad can it be?" All I can tell you, fellow travelers, is - Be afraid, be very afraid. My room can best be described as bizarre. It was laid out over two floors, with a tiny single bed downstairs, and a sort of loft area upstairs with a larger bed. The smell of cigarettes permeating the room was so bad I chose to leave my clothes in my bag rather than risk stinking like an ashtray when I changed into them the next day. The balcony, overlooking a busy Brussels main road, had approximately twenty cigarette butts ground into it, which the hotel cleaning staff had presumably chosen to ignore. Or maybe they just didn't care, which was the vibe given off by everything associated with Hotel Brussels. The room appeared to have not been redecorated, or the carpet replaced, for at least 25 years. Or maybe 50. Th worst was the bathroom. I turned on the tap to brush my teeth, and even with no plug in the sink quickly with water filled as the drain was, presumably, partially blocked. When the water did eventually subside the sink was left full of hairs and it smelled like a toilet. The metallic lever in the tub normally used to change the water between running a bath and a shower was partially missing, so when I turned on the tap water shot straight out of the side of the bath into my legs. It took well over a minute for the cold water to warm up, so I was left toggling the temperature dial back and forth trying to figure out which side was hot. It reminded me of staying in French B&B's back in the 1980's, where the joke was "c" on the taps stood for "cold" and "f" was for "freezing". Except at the Hotel Brussels you don't even get a "c" or an "f" on the tap. Breakfast the next morning was mediocre which, compared to the room was something of a pleasant surprise. All the other guests seemed stunned into silent submission, even the couples, as if we were all so shocked by the sheer awfulness of our rooms we were just counting the seconds until check-out. I avoided the congealed gloop that I believe was bacon and scrambled eggs and played it safe with toast and pastries, which while a little on the firm side did seem like they had at least been cooked that week. The best thing that could happen to Hotel Brussels would be for the health inspectors to condemn it and for it to be demolished and replaced with something useful, like a brand new school or hospital.