Fynbos on Sea has a "Bistro" I say this lightly. Described over the phone to me as a Casual dining experience...comedic...I'll get to the 'menu' later. I planned a Valentine Lunch/Late lunch with my hubby on Sunday as our Valentines (we use it as anniversary) couldn't happen - we both were too busy, so in between I found the time to arrange a transfer who could make the latest arrival time I asked about and set by the 'Bistro' (I phoned thinking the Bistro is a full time restaurant) - 3pm- , stupidly unaware and NEVER MADE AWARE of the fact there was an 'emphasized by our waiter' UPON ARRIVAL (obviously feverishly anticipated) KITCHEN-STOPS-WORK time at 3pm and LOCK-SHOP at 4pm. Only an hour before our arrival I was phoned - still unaware of the closing time - REMINDING me that the kitchen closes at 3pm, which in most people's world means.....last orders can still be placed before 3pm. Therefor in order to save on "deciding on what to eat" time, I requested the menu be sent please, I could order over the phone in the car and they could start making it when we arrive? We weren't going for a T-Bone steak or anything that would take more than 15min. to make fresh. We were going for late Lunch, not dinner. Now I had seen pictures of the Lodge and Restaurant on the Net and it looked upmarket, that's how much I knew about what was about to hit me when the 'menu pic' arrived. Three items, two of them with V variations. Burger, Wrap, Pizza, Dessert cup....that was it! One page in a Flip hardcover file menu. And a good assortment of at least 5 pages of drinks. None of these dishes take more than max 15 min. to freshly make...correct me if I'm wrong? One man doing the job. I figured that would be the case on arrival, worst case..... I've never been to Fynbos on Sea, I've only seen the advert when driving through Sedge. When I noticed the sign post and noted it a week before Valentines, thinking it's close, we could stay there even for the night, a solution to our schedule, to get away , eventhough we stay in the most magnificent location in Wilderness, on die Duin. A view over Gericke's might be a change as opposed to Wilderness beach. Weighing it I Eventually decided just a meal at Simbavati, Fynbos on Sea Bistro might also be fine. I was wrong. The MCC was on the table, waiting. The Burgers were brought virtually as we sat down. It was cold, had been made probably the hour of their first phone call to me. Patty was thick in depth but small in circumference, hard, dry ....in a tin plate with a thumbsize bowl of garlic mayo. Fries were cold R150 per Burger R150! daylight....!, Pizza was medium at R120 (shy of 30cm in length absolutely half that in width)....perhaps the BUSH experience they were after. The building matched the plates. The view was oookkaayish with patch windows in the way - you don't actually look out over Gericke's - the dessert cup/jar was caterers icecream....I could go on.....Positively Not the Simbavati experience I was hop